I lost a loved one

He was a brother, a brother-in-law, a son, and a friend, but Ngwa Rene Che died a painful death last Thursday 1^st November after fighting tooth and nail to wave off the cold hands of death to no avail. The fallout of the 22-year-old’s death has hit the family and friends as hard as the news of his mother’s death barely four months earlier. As a foster father, I’m broken and felt a father’s worst pain. I can’t tell you how much I miss Rene already.

Rene Che, died just before 9 p.m. Thursday November 1^st 2012 in the comfort of her aunt’s Ndamukong street residence. He was the sixth of eight children whose been living with me for the past seven years.

He travelled to Bamenda on Wednesday 31^st to seek medical attention at the Mbingo Baptist hospital after all medical options in Yaounde were apparently failing. He was gone for some 24 hrs. in the company of his elder brother Albert when a disastrous phone call got my wife (his eldest sister) and the rest of the family screaming.

I first noticed Rene’s pain during his mother’s funeral four months earlier in Bamenda. Once back in Yaounde, we embarked on medical attention. He was on and off with it, mostly complaining of pains around his arms, waist and legs.

Two weeks ago, he was admitted for 10 days at the Yaounde General hospital wherein he was transfused up to four pints of blood. Barely a week after he left hospital, he took ill again and that’s when we decided he travelled to Bamenda for further treatment.

Rene as I knew him was a young man of very few words.  If at all he had to talk, he was soft spoken and a straight-to-the-point kind of person. He was bored by monotony and idleness such that vising friends or strolling around was one of his best past-times.

Having buried two loved ones in the same family in four months (five in five years), I think that some of our actions and our mistakes as humans don’t always justify or define who we are. Rene was a great guy and everyone can vouch for that.

While some of the doctors who attended to him thought he had some form of still’s disease, it was not confirmed whether his death was a direct retaliation with still’s disease or the complex relationship between stills disease and chronic anemia. We’ve had no account of the burning heat he had been subjected to of recent nor the connection between rain drops and his illness that seemed to calm him down each time they fell on his aching body.

It does not fix or justify or explain what happened or actually lead to his death. Even if it was, no one should in any way have to suffer such a tragedy. I’m sure we’ve all made mistakes, and if he’s made his it’s not a reason for things to have gone the way they did. As family, we are learning to focus on who he was as a person.

Rene was always well-liked within and beyond his family. Everybody wanted to stay with Rene. He was a friend with everybody and I am particularly satisfied with the time I spent with him. He was proactive, preemptive and dedicated to the tasks he performed.

While the family waits to learn more about his most seemingly untimely death, I will be grateful the day that the doctors will actually be able to tell me what went wrong with my son.

As a family, we chose to believe that the living God we all serve has a plan for all of us. We move on knowing that he is now resting at God’s bosom and we are going on bended knees to seek more God’s unceasing grace and to fight the shabby battle the devil seems to have waged against our beloved family.

Rene, may the Good Lord that brought you into this world, watch over your as you take up new responsibilities in his everlasting kingdom.

We love you.